How can we become better people?

How can we improve ourselves and become better people? I want to share with you a conversation that I overheard.

I have no idea what came before or what came after, but this was the part that I heard: the woman said, “Let him live on campus, George.” The man: “No!” The woman: “Why not?” The man answered, “Because I said no; and what would he think of me if I backed down?”

That fragment of dialogue has stayed with me. It has stayed with me for two reasons. One, because this is the season of the year when we are taking an account of our behavior; and the other reason, because we have all said similar words like that of the man. Haven’t we? Don’t we all take positions and then feel too embarrassed to back down?

A businessman will say: That’s my last offer – take it or leave it – and loses a good order because he has backed himself into a corner. A child will say: “I can do it myself” and then he is ashamed to admit that he needs help. A parent will say: “If you do that then I will – and then has no graceful way of backing down from the threat. We all behave this way. We do it out of pride. We are ashamed to admit that we have made a mistake. We are afraid that we will appear weak if we retreat.

What answers are there to this problem that all of us face? To me, the most important answer is to understand that there is no disgrace in backing down when we have taken a stand that we now realize was wrong. I know it is not easy. The hardest words in the whole world to say are: “I was wrong.”

There must be an intensive seminar on how to see over the walls of pride, and an exercise in climbing down from the positions that we have taken to our regret. This is the time to look inside and see what we have done with our days; and then, where necessary, to climb down.

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Tags: life lessons, advice

Rabbi Sally - The People's Rabbi